When you have a sincere quarrel with your significant other to the point where you feel so unloved leaves you empty, broken. I already make myself empty to be strong and to ignore the things around me. But I sit here at lunch, not taking a lunch break to get out and walk. No, I sit here broken and in tears. All of the ones I ever relied on when things go back are gone, no longer here to hear my words. So I sit here in tears hoping that whoever reads this will realize that you are never alone in these moments. You may feel like you have no one to turn to but you do. You have me. If you are of faith you have God. If you aren’t find faith in music or art. Just remember that whatever it is we go through it is to teach us that we a worth more than this moment and we just have to fight a little longer because it is all worth it in the end.
When she makes you feel like you aren’t enough and that you aren’t sick enough for anyone to take you seriously. Eating disorders are the deadliest mental health condition and when I reach for help all I feel is that empty void. I feel like my voice of recovery goes absolutely unheard and that now I have reached the point where I have made the choice that I will step away from any type of treatment until I am mentally ready to let go. I beg for sleep but I sit here crying myself to sleep in hopes for a better tomorrow. Life isn’t full of rainbows and sunshine. Some of us have to walk through the darker days and hold to that hope that things will eventually at some point get better.